Another Day ... Another Post

hmmm ... November of last year ... it's been a while (as always with my posting).

School

Well over the span of the last two semesters life has sucked ... in pretty much every department. I did decently in school first semester (for engineering anyways), pumping out a 3.1; however this past semester I pumped out a 2.1. Yeah ... ouch. I failed my first course - my java course - which severely lowered my gpa. So overall my gpa is a 2.54 right now. Trust me ... these kind of grades are NOT what I'm trying to accomplish. The one thing I was glad about was that I got a B in my ECE course -- I was afraid I'd get a C instead ... but I was able to pull off the B.

I found it really difficult to take my studies seriously. I had no interest in anything that I was doing last semester except the band I was in (symphonic band), which I enjoyed immensly. My band rehersals were really the only bright spots to my week. Originally I came into school as a Computer Engineer, only to switch to Electical Engineering (the more general degree) a little into first semester. After I decided that I absolutely despised my courses (*especially* my Matlab and Java courses) I decided to change my major *again* - this time to Management - and did so towards the end of 2nd semester, and, surprisingly enough, I'm still considering whether that was a smart move - whether I should go to something else entirely. I don't think I know what I want out of college, or even life in general. When I graduated I thought I had it all planned out - that everything would just fall into place like the pieces of a puzzle. Then I got thrown some curve balls and I'm still trying to recover my stance. I also think that I've been wallowing in my own god damned unhappiness for so long that it's hard to even imagine a major - and a life - with which I'd be happy.

So what do I want? I could say I want to "get a degree, find a girl, get married, have kids, and retire." Sounds easy enough right? yeah ... hah ... sure. I used to be pretty idealistic with lots of things - annnnnd I suppose those "curve balls" was life kicking my ass off the comfortable little cloud I was sitting on. So now I'm still falling and trying to find some kind of foothold. ok ok ... I'll stop with the metaphors. I can't really say much more ... I don't even know how to start analyzing anything about myself right now because I'm just ... lost (kinda like the tv show ... yeah).

So as well as chaning my major to Management 2nd semester, I also went to the Career Services office at Tech and started talking to one of their advisors. I took a couple tests - two of 'em being the Briggs-Myers Personality Test and a Career Interest Inventory Test. I still have yet to get any results because I need to actually make a two hour appointment with my advisor and go down there and discuss it with her. I hoping that this'll help me, at least a little bit, with solidifying some kind of major decision.

Relationships

hah .... these are always a doozy aren't they? I don't even know where to begin. I think I'm about as lost about 'ships as I am about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I think I just might start taking Jordan's outlook on this stuff. "Don't go after it ... let it come to you." That seems to be the safer road at the moment, seeing as how I seem to have awful luck with these things (and I'm talking about more than one instance here). I seem to have a damn annoying habit of drawing things out and making them more dramatic than they need to be. I know I do it ... and I hate it. I just need to kind of ... get on with life. There was a girl at work (The Main Ingredient Catering in case anyone was wondering) that I've been thinking about asking on a date ... haven't gotten around to it because I haven't seen her in a week. O well ... whatever. I'll probably do a party with her again ... I can ask then. I just need to move on. There's more to life than wallowing in your own god damned misfortuned events. It seems I need to learn to roll with the punches.

The Present

So this summer not much is happening. So far I only have a few things on my agenda: working, getting my musical abilities back up to par, biking to get into shape, possibly 3-7 days down in Atlanta towards the end of June to get my career thing out of the way and to visit some buds down there, and Marching Band camp at the end of the summer. I'm working, or trying to at least, at The Main Ingredient Catering. It's not a bad job. It pays damned well: $15/hour and if you do deliveries (which I have not done yet) there's a chance you'll get a tip from the customer. There're a couple things that I like about it more than I have my other jobs: it's very social (unlike Graul's where I would spend 3 hours straightening the god damned isles with no one to talk to) and there is hardly any down time. So all in all it's an ok job. It's much better than most other jobs I've had.

hmmm ... I can't think of much else to talk about. I'll see if I find anything to talk about in this thing this summer.